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I’d say this guy is an idiot for wrestling a superhero who could laser blast him, but this is Shitropolis, cowboy guy can probably regenerate or something.
His super powers include correcting people about cooking. XD
Wait, there’s chili without beans?
That just sounds so … incomplete.
But then again, I like to simmer parsnips in lemon juice and olive oil with a bit of garlic powder, black pepper, and sriracha sauce.
He’s also probably one who knows that there’s only a two percent chance of being hit by the eyebeams. Unless Lazer Pony has allergies. Then asteroids beware
Well, the probability goes up if he is a blimp operator.
didn’t Lazer Pony miss a blimp over and over early on in this comic lol
That’s the one thing hes never missed
NO BEANS IN CHILI!!!! They can be served on the side — ON THE SIDE — but not as part of the chili.
Chili ALWAYS has beans in it. The only question is whether you want to put meat in it or not. Then it’s chili con carne. But it ALWAYS has beans.
Okay, so since I seem to be the only idjit willing to ask, what the HELL do you put in your chili, and WHY are beans not allowed in it!?
Texas-style chili is meat (stew meat, beef, thank you very much, *not* hamburger meat), chili powder, seasonings, and maybe some masa to thicken it up. Allow to simmer a *long* time until the meat is soft and tender and close to disintegrating. That’s chili. Not that New Yawk City abomination with beans in it. Beans in your chili will get you shot in Texas. No joke.
This obviously isn’t the same thing as chile, a northern Mexican dish that is stewed meat (usually pork or beef) and seasonings typically served over rice with beans, sour cream, and guacamole on the side.
Yup. Totally agree.
Never heard of that “chile” dish you mention. Must be really up North.
I beg to differ, I was born in Texas and put beans in my chili (I also usually have the bigger weapon on hand ).
Shamdon, do you perchance live in Austin?
How many people here will understand that the Austin reference is a dig? Or why?
Very few, I bet.
Texan expat here. I’ve always had chili with beans, same as my father, a long time Texan.
Personally, I prefer beans in my chili. *runs away before I can be strangled*
AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! [strangle] — Wait. What sound effects to use for strangulation? — [grgle snrt grrrrggglllll aaaaaaa…. ] Consider youself properly strangled.
It looked more like you were strangling yourself there. Kinky.
You’re right, it does. But I would never strangle myself, because then there would be one less voice speaking up on the side of righteousness and truth on the important matter of NO BEANS IN CHILI!
Hey, whatever gets your rocks off, man. I won’t judge.
Chili isn’t supposed to have beans in it!
Chili is supposed to have beans in it.
There’s a war coming
No beans. Then war.
Why don’t we listen to sheldon cooper?
Chili can have beans in it. You can leave them out if you like, but don’t say that chili with beans isn’t proper. This tradition goes back AT LEAST five generations within my family from Arkansas. If that isn’t reason enough to be considered “real” chili, than you’re an opinionated asshole.
Hi, Nathan. My name is Sean. Since I just got called “an opinionated asshole” by somebody whom I haven’t even met, and since that is always a bit of a shock, I thought maybe I should introduce myself. After all, if you want to call someone an asshole, it probablfy is more satisfying for you if you have some idea of the actual human being who is the target of your invective.
As I said, my name is Sean. I’m a librarian, I have cats, I like to read old books (victorian, medieval, early science fiction, and all sorts of other things) as well as a few best-sellers from time to time. My favorite color is dark yellow, and I have no fashion sense whatsoever. I hate coffee and never drink it.
There, now you know a little something about the opinionated asshole who thinks chili shouldn’t have beans and loves to joke about it. Tell me something about you. It will be much more gratifying for me to have been put in my place by a real human, not just a name on a screen.
Have a nice day.
I think Nathan was referring to the character in the comic.
Ho, Sean! If you hate coffee, you’ve just not had good coffee!
Try it cold with vanilla or coconut icecream!
Latte, of course.
Cooking has always been an each to their own, and I always have beans with chili.
Eating toast that’s cold though, well that’s just unnatural!
Isn’t eating toast that’s cold more of an oxymoron?
Hey! I resemble that remark! I like eating cold toast.
Cold toast is called “croutons,” isn’t it?
Chili without beans is like soft-serve ice-cream without chocolate mousse, possible but somehow incomplete.
Them’s fightin’ words in Texas :).
There isn’t an ‘R’ in the word ‘wash’. Nobody ‘warshes’ their truck!
Fun fact: In Austria I have never even HEARD of Chili without beans. For the sake of vegetarians, you may get served Chili that consists ONLY of beans though. With some luch they even end up calling it “Chili con Carne without meat”, or after sufficient protest “Chili sine carne”.
Also we thought, that it is typical Mexican food. That kind of annoyed the Mexican researcher who visited for a year.
Heh, yeah, I can imagine the bit with the researcher. It’s sort of like saying that Taco Bell is Mexican food. It’s (cheap, corporatized) Tex-Mex, which isn’t Mexican food any more than Chinese food in most Chinese restaurants/take-out in America is actual Chinese food.
Chili is pretty thoroughly American, though. It isn’t even Tex-Mex.
As a Mexican and somebody that wants turn up the heat in this discussion:
What IS Chili?
It’s … uh.
Well, American chili is kind of a very slightly sweet, spicy/hot dish. Think of something like a stew. It almost always contains kidney beans, onions, lots of other assorted spices …
By far, the most common kind of chili is chili con carne, made with beef. The beef is a good portion of the mass of the dish, although the kidney beans add a lot of the flavor, too. The defining flavor, though, is chili powder. That’s where it gets its name, after all.
Ahem. My definition is a spicy dish made of ground beef, hot peppers or chili powder, and without beans.
Swap out the beef, and it could work.
Doesn’t look at all like what I tasted. I once tried the Mexican version of the Chili-Dog that was mostly ground beef, BBQ sauce and… guess what?… Beans!
*Sips on soft drink since all that pop corn made me so thirsty*
Gummy bears, anyone?
And Pablo you need to try it without beans. Recipes everywhere.
What are chili beans for then?
Gagging on, if you’re like me and their similarity to peas makes you want to vomit when ingested.
Now in the next week, the cowboy guy is in the reallity a loyal member of a secret group of the villain ironchief, a high-tech exoarmor to prepare food. Using a anti-matter kitchen to make food.
But wait, no one know this, forget, is not a spoiler… Yet.
as a native born Texan I can confirm that true barbeque is smoked slow cooked beef, sometimes chicken is allowable or venison if you’re a hunter but never pork because it comes out mushy.
Carolina BBQ would disagree with you on the pork part. low and slow is the secret to Carolina BBQ. (some might call it pulled porked but thats not 100% accurate)
the meaning of “barbecue” all seems to depend on what part of the country your in. up north its anything on a grill with BBQ sauce. in the Carolina its assumed by natives to mean Carolina BBQ. Texas way tends to be more towards assuming beef ribs/briskett and the like
Yeah, barbecue is almost definitionally pork-based, in North Carolina. There are variations with other meats, but you have to identify the sort of meat in the name. Just “barbecue,” with the word standing alone by itself, is always pork.
In Mexico Barbeque is mainly mutton, sheep, ram, etc. meat and it certainly is not sweet (like BBQ sauce)
Is mostly meat, covered with banana leaves, slow cooked in a hole on the ground or a special oven (stone or metal)
You thought that comment was from Anonymous, but it was me, Pablo!
Yeah, hopefully Anonymous isn’t hacking this comic’s blog section. Seems a little below their usual standards.
Nah, barbecue or barabicu as it was originally called by the Tainu people, is merely cooking meat low and slow historically speaking. No specific meat was specified historically.
This sounds like one of those things where you have two things that share a name but are almost nothing alike in the details. The whole thing that makes American barbecue what it is is the sauce, whether it’s eastern or western barbecue.
The Texas and North Carolina barbecue sauces differ greatly in the proportions of the ingredients, and they have a few different secondary ingredients. But you can see how they have the same origin.
Uhm, eastern North Carolina barbecue sauce is *nothing* like Texas barbecue sauce. There’s no tomato in it (at the time eastern NC bbq originated, they thought tomatoes were poisonous), it’s just vinegar with black pepper and other spices in it. Texas BBQ sauce on the other hand has both tomatoes and sugar in it. The sugar in Texas BBQ sauce is to balance out the tart taste of the smoked beef. The lack of sugar in the NC BBQ sauce is to give a tart counterpoint to the sweet taste of the smoked / “pulled” pork.
And most of the ingredients besides the tomatoes? There’s a lot of overlap. Your concept of two things being nothing alike is a bit odd.
Sugar is a biggy. The whole *point* of Texas BBQ sauce is that it’s sweet, in order to offset the bitter taste of the pork. If you have neither tomatoes nor sugar, you don’t have Texas BBQ sauce, you have something else entirely.
offset the bitter taste of the smoked beef. Grr, typing too fast…
Err, so if it doesn’t have tomatoes or sugar, it isn’t Texas barbecue sauce …
Umm … and? When did I say that all barbecue sauce was Texas barbecue sauce? O.o
Of course it isn’t Texas barbecue sauce without those things. It’s a different kind of barbecue sauce. I’m not following your point.
To confuse things even further, Eastern North Carolina and Western North Carolina have two different styles of BBQ. Both are based on pork smoked over open fires, but the sauces differ. It’s surprising there haven’t been more shots fired over the issue, given the feuds over the subject :).
There’s a lot of geography between eastern and western North Carolina. It was a bit harder to get back and forth to shoot people, back in the days when that was more of a thing. Maybe if you got a particle-accelerator or something.
What is more annoying as a North Carolinian is seeing “Carolina BBQ” sauces at grocery stores and them being primarily mustard based, like the South Carolinian variant. Almost as bad as when the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup and SC tried to take credit (via billboards) for the win even though the team is based in the middle of NC. As a side note, in response to the “they thought tomatoes were poisonous” comment earlier, I found this article interesting:
i find it interesting that tomatoes were first reported within the British NA colonies to be found within the Carolinas. But almost certainly the eastern style of BBQ did come first. Additionally, I find it weird that everyone acts like there is no vinegar in western/Lexington style, cause there is still a good amount in it. The additional tomato paste and brown sugar do mask the burn of the vinegar well I guess
Also, barbecue pork doesn’t have to be mushy. There’s one style that ends up with mushy pork, because you’re putting it in a hamburger bun as a sandwich. There are other cooking styles that end up with firmer pork.
If you don’t want mushy pork, but you end up with mushy pork, then blame the cook, not the pork.
This calls for fellow cowgirl Buckaress to mediate. Of course, HER chili burns the kitchen down – before she turns the stove on.
Boy, you Tex-mex People sure are strange. No Beans in Chili? Next thing you’ll tell us that marshmallows don’t belong in Chili either, and what then? Huh?
No one is going to comment on how Laser Pony is the one actually grilling?
I would say the blind can often learn to cook just fine, but I would have been impressed if LP had been able to avoid setting himself on fire while cooking BEFORE he went blind.
We’ve seen LP cooking since early on. He even had his own secret recipe cinnamon buns or something like that.
LP seems to be doing most of the cooking in that house.
He probably hit a piece of meat while going after villain and just went with it
So, how do you think that guy would feel about vegetarian chili?
Oh oh oh!!! I know the answer! Call on me!
Actually, I know nothing about that particular guy at all, of course, but I do know about me. I could see me being him. As I have demonstrated in the comments here, I get passionate about chili and love to rant about it — but there is a definite degreee of tongue in cheek when I do so — and I do believe and understand that BEANS DON’T GO IN THE CHILI! However, I frequently make vegan chili, and I have no problem with that.
Don’t ask. Nothing is entirely black and white in the real world.
But vegetarian chili always has beans.
And it’s not chili.
Personally speaking, I don’t like vegetarians in my chili. Herbivores, yes, vegetarians, no.
If vegetarians eat only vegetables, then what do humanitarians eat?
Why, humanitables of course.
Is this guys name Hank Hill? I’m gonna call him Hank Hill.
After he finally grew a mustashe
So what would my Spam Chili be considered? It has chunked Spam, diced tomatoes, chili powder, and black or kidney beans, depending on what was on sale.
An abomination unto Nuggan?
Well me, I’d call that Kimchi Stew without the Kimchi. Sounds exactly like weeknight supper #3 at my mom’s.
Spam and bean soup. Duh.
What would he do if the spank wanted chili with beans in it
The creators of this comic have no idea what hell they’ve unleashed
The content of the page indicates that they knew exactly what they were causing. :-D
Agreed. Fun discussion though.
But really: What is this Chili you all talk about and why is so important?
*Grabs pop corn*
What is it? Something you should try.
Kidney or Haricot? Kidney beans are essential for Chilli, stuff like Haricot Baked Beans or peas is more of a personal flavour thing.
Chile without beans is like cheese pizza, horrible
I used to hate chili. Then, I found out that you can get it without beans.
There are no beans in chili.
*is making picket signs saying “DOWN WITH BEANLESS CHILI” only to get strangled by SeanL again*
Guys, It’s Chili.
Chile is my country.
Are there beans in Chile?
Does it really matter? Why do so many of you care whether or not chilli has beef or beens or whatnot? It’s just a stewed dish made with a similar blend of spices and a savory protein across recipes, and that is what makes it chilli.
Enjoy it how you will, but arguing semantics over this would be like a spanish speaker and a romanian speaker arguing of the correct word for any of their words. It is a natural property of language and region that changes definitions. It confuses things between other regional subcultures true, but it would be a blander world if things weren’t so divisive.
So keep up the discussion, the world’s all the more interesting for it.
We don’t really care.
Well, most of us don’t at any rate. It’s just a fun topic to run with.
Semantics can be a good source of humor. Lots of potential puns … the good kind of puns, not the lame, forced puns that my father-in-law tells at the table, during holiday meals.
“Close that darn window! I’ve never bean so chili in all my days! Were you raised by carnes in the circus?”
Yeah, gotta watch out for those carnes. They don’t bathe often enough, so they start to smell bad after a few days.
But you gotta watch out for that afterburn.
Sounds like a disease that I once caught from some carnes girls.
Chili without beans lacks texture.
Coming in or out?
Chili without beans lacks gastrointestinal turmoil coming out. Never paid too much attention to texture.
O.K. To fire things up: How to hang the toilet paper? Let the bloodshed beginn. (Evil Laughing)
Today I learned there are idiots out there that think beans in chili isn’t “proper” chili… Seriously, have you never tried out black beans, kidney, and lima in your chili along with the normal pinto? You are not only missing out, you are foolish. Chili isn’t chili if it is just meat. That’s called stew.
If it has beans in it then it isn’t chili, which by definition is meat cooked in a sauce. It is bean soup.
Stew, BTW, has vegetables in it. Chili does not.
*gasp* BIRRIA! Great, now I have to go all the way down to the corner of my office to get me a plate of this.
Thanks…a…lot… (no: really)
*imagine me like this after eating it*
There are many other stews listed under https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stew#List_of_stews which don’t have vegetables.
there are no beans in good chili, espally good texas chili
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