This is Shitropolis. I’ll bet there are nearly as many beginner dungeons as there are Starbuckses. In fact, there’s probably at least one beginner dungeon in a Starbucks (and at least five Starbuckses in beginner dungeons).
It’s gotten to the point that the final dungeon is in fact a Starbucks run by the omnipresent evil dark lord of terror. The way you beat it is by placing too many overly complex custom orders while under-tipping just enough to get the dark lord’s fragments to quit, leaving the dark lord unable to fulfill all the “contracts”.
Funny, and here I thought that forcing them to write your name right would cause it to be defeated, but I like your idea and perhaps an imaginative DM can apply a combination of both to a campaign.
(If they didn’t already, as I’m mostly sure it already happened.)
Seating arrangements – if done poorly, Great Aunt Agnes will be at the same table as Cousin Bettina, which will result in Hell On Earth, rather than a calm wedding reception.
So, I buy the whole “can be used to create a portal to the Netherworld” scenario.
It’s all those super-beings running around. They weaken reality just by existing with their ludicrous powers and Revolving Door of Death and probability-defying soap operas. Just look how easy Jillian became a powerful sorceress after getting jealous of Bucky!
So now the young lady in today’s strip should go on an anti-weirdness campaign, seeking to eliminate all magic and super-power-ness to save reality … and not realize that in the end she’s just another anti-hero with her own story.
The Revolving Door of Death is managed by a government-sponsored organisation, and there’s a 3 year waiting list. Unless, of course, you opted for Priority Revivication, in which case it’s only 2 years & 365 days.
Nah, I doubt she’d bother. The appearance of an actual, literal demon leaves her only very mildly perturbed. Clearly, years of life in Shitropolis have left her utterly indifferent to any weirdness that isn’t immediately life-threatening.
Panel 4: “Well, as you’re here, you might as well help with these seats. Any ideas how I can keep Dave and Steve apart without upsetting Mike and Stella?”
“Umm… Is that Paracelsus calling me? Sorry. Gotta dash. Nice meeting you. Bye!”
One anthology titled ‘Devils’ had two guys accidentally summon one because they were doing music editing, had the floor covered in tape cuttings so that the cuttings just happened to create a crude metal pentagram at the same time they were playing some audio backwards that successfully approximated the chant to summon a devil. Luckily they were able to convince it to not take their souls and work with them to find someone else instead (amusingly enough the guy who they found for that was like their boss or an ex-boss who jumped at the deal only to reveal after the devil’s gone that Hell must have terrible accounting because he’d already made a deal way back when that made him the profitable businessman he was in the first place).
Of course Symbols need to be easier for mortals to be draw you dimwit! were in the summoning business, you have any idea how many other brand of creatures we have to compete with nowadays just to get that summoning contract!
In other news, a whole elementary classroom had to be vacated since a portal to Hell was open during Math class when the teacher drew a venn diagram.
But on the plus side, the city now has a beginner dungeon, since easy symbols usually means weak demons.
This is Shitropolis. I’ll bet there are nearly as many beginner dungeons as there are Starbuckses. In fact, there’s probably at least one beginner dungeon in a Starbucks (and at least five Starbuckses in beginner dungeons).
It’s gotten to the point that the final dungeon is in fact a Starbucks run by the omnipresent evil dark lord of terror. The way you beat it is by placing too many overly complex custom orders while under-tipping just enough to get the dark lord’s fragments to quit, leaving the dark lord unable to fulfill all the “contracts”.
Funny, and here I thought that forcing them to write your name right would cause it to be defeated, but I like your idea and perhaps an imaginative DM can apply a combination of both to a campaign.
(If they didn’t already, as I’m mostly sure it already happened.)
You know that by spelling th name of a demon correctly, you have power over it? Misspelling the name is done out of respect!
If she just moved a table on the chart slightly more to the right she would have summoned Diablo Lord of Terror in prime evil form.
Ah, Feng Shui Fu!
Seating arrangements – if done poorly, Great Aunt Agnes will be at the same table as Cousin Bettina, which will result in Hell On Earth, rather than a calm wedding reception.
So, I buy the whole “can be used to create a portal to the Netherworld” scenario.
It’s all those super-beings running around. They weaken reality just by existing with their ludicrous powers and Revolving Door of Death and probability-defying soap operas. Just look how easy Jillian became a powerful sorceress after getting jealous of Bucky!
So now the young lady in today’s strip should go on an anti-weirdness campaign, seeking to eliminate all magic and super-power-ness to save reality … and not realize that in the end she’s just another anti-hero with her own story.
The Revolving Door of Death is managed by a government-sponsored organisation, and there’s a 3 year waiting list. Unless, of course, you opted for Priority Revivication, in which case it’s only 2 years & 365 days.
And Uncle Ben works there as a greeter. He feels so lonely there.
Nah, I doubt she’d bother. The appearance of an actual, literal demon leaves her only very mildly perturbed. Clearly, years of life in Shitropolis have left her utterly indifferent to any weirdness that isn’t immediately life-threatening.
It’s that marker she’s using. It’s the fabled Cursed Marker From Heck!!!
Panel 4: “Well, as you’re here, you might as well help with these seats. Any ideas how I can keep Dave and Steve apart without upsetting Mike and Stella?”
“Umm… Is that Paracelsus calling me? Sorry. Gotta dash. Nice meeting you. Bye!”
Demon (Mumbling) : “Silly mortal! We are summoned to perform impossible tasks, not miracles!”
Must be hell.
This reminds me of the Twilight Zone short “I of Newton” with Sherman Helmsley and Ron Glass. Funny stuff.
Yeah, and with Doomguy skulking around, these poor demons are needlessly having to put themselves at risk like this!
One anthology titled ‘Devils’ had two guys accidentally summon one because they were doing music editing, had the floor covered in tape cuttings so that the cuttings just happened to create a crude metal pentagram at the same time they were playing some audio backwards that successfully approximated the chant to summon a devil. Luckily they were able to convince it to not take their souls and work with them to find someone else instead (amusingly enough the guy who they found for that was like their boss or an ex-boss who jumped at the deal only to reveal after the devil’s gone that Hell must have terrible accounting because he’d already made a deal way back when that made him the profitable businessman he was in the first place).
Of course Symbols need to be easier for mortals to be draw you dimwit! were in the summoning business, you have any idea how many other brand of creatures we have to compete with nowadays just to get that summoning contract!
“Revolving door of Death” is the name of my Nerdcore Filk-metal band. :)